my life is tracked through my screen names

my life is tracked through my screen names

i always to find an artist i appreciate and dedicate way too much of my time to them. each phase can be seen by my past aim sn's: 

1. BSBFREAK

harmless. every nineties girl had a favorite boyband. i loved AJ

2. SugarRayGirl1227

this one didn't last long.

3. punkme239

oh, ashton. both my biggest obsession and the one i am most ashamed of. i think he's a great individual (from what i've read) but the only thing i got out of it in the long run was a few friends who live in different continents that i have limited contact with and have never met

4. SuFiRachel

reference to Dane Cook's signature. then i overplayed his cd's and realized Zach Galifianakis is 100 billion times funnier

5. oblivious blues

finally a screen name that stands alone while remaining an ode, as well. since i'm still living in this phase, i cannot say what i'll feel about it in the future, but i can say that this is the first time one of my artistic interests has led me to new faces and places - ones that i cannot see myself without in the future. and i mean this in a much much more sincere way than i ever felt back in numbers 1 through 4. 

maybe it's just because i'm growing up or maybe i've finally found something real.

but if and when this phase ends, the memories will live on through the friendships made. this is one - for lack of a better word - obsession that i will never be ashamed of. it has been too important of a factor in my life to ever be seen as embarrassing or wasteful.

on that note, i've made a (belated) new years resolution: to always focus on my immediate life - schoolwork, friends, family - first and don't take situations that i cannot help or control to heart. that doesn't mean i have to stop caring, just shift my center a little.